Stream of Conciousness

I was cleaning out my email inbox, reading over old e-mails that were sent and received. This one really hit home for me right now. I remember those days, where it was all carefree (well, it is still pretty carefree, but I'm getting to the point where it's not going to be all sunshine and summertime any more). Being 20 was a good point in my life. It was a happy point. Sure, I was aware everything was going to be changing soon, but I drank every moment in that I could. This starts out with Slurpees and ends with cadence. How all of that relates, well, let's just say it does, and provides for some fun ways of relating!

Slurppees...Kaym, spence, and i would get them if we did good in tennis lessons.  It would be sooo hot.  When I first started, I didn't want to move my feet.  They would be planted in cement the minute I walked out onto the court.  To this day, i can't remember why I was so stubborn about it.  Tennis was fun! Hitting the fuzzy, yellow, flying things is just too good to pass up.  My favorite part.....the resounding "ping" from hitting it in the middle of the raquet and watching it go soaring across the net.  

My last summer home before the mish, Spenc and I would go to the park as the sun was going down and play.  This park is at the bottom of a mountain and you can climb up the mountain and see the entire valley from the top.  You can see a lot of the valley from the park as well, but it's better from up top.  The memories I have from that park are some of the sweetest...and also a bit bitter at times.  Anyway, Spenc and I would play off of whatever we could.  We would end up laughing so hard that I couldn't stand up any longer.  I remember one time, laying on the warm, green, cement; just taking in the moment and staring up into the bright lights and watching the halos around them.  Suddenly, they went out, leaving me only with the little floating dots that come with staring into bright lights for a period of time.  As the halos died out, I could see the sky.  The sun had gone down behind the majestic purple mountains, still lighting the far corners of the valley, but I could no longer see the flaming ball.  The stars were out, and boy, were they beautiful.  And my thoughts drifted...drifted to the future, and what it might hold.  The world is soo big and me, so small.  I knew that this moment was one that was soon to be only a memory.  We would both grow up, move on, and life as we knew it would never be the same.  I didn't want that to happen.  I wanted to be 20 and on top of the world forever.  Life was sweet, and I was content to stay in that moment for a very long time.  Sadly, that didn't pan out.  


You can't keep those simple, beautiful moments 'in the moment' forever.  It will be in my memory forever, thankfully, but all the lines that connected me to everything around me, everyone I knew...it couldn't stay the same.  That was kind of a scary thought.  The best moments of my life were happening, and what was going to happen? Was all of that wonderful-ness just going to disappear to only live on in my mind? Yeah, I guess you can say that that life is no more.  Life went on, and everyone kept marching to the cadence of their own music.  The beats in our tracks had crossed for a moment and resulted in amazing harmonies, some times for only a split second, and other times, our beats crossed for years at a time. but sadly, the beats were about to change, and I wasn't sure if it was for the better.  The music sounded so good to me.  


I've since realized that listening to the same song on 'repeat' becomes boring.  I can only stand it for so long before I change the station. The resulting time was some of the best memories, the best friends, and the most loved moments where I learned and grew.  2009 was a huge year for me.  I had wonderful roommates.  Well, they became close friends.  A mission that changed my life.  And the music kept on changing.  The melody can still be heard underneath everything, but even that has changed keys.  It's not the same anymore.  But it is still sweet.  And you know, that's what it's all about. 


 Allowing and accepting those changes, whether it be an added background track, a new beat, or a different key.  I'm still me, and i will continue to grow and change.  And all of that is beautiful.  You're a new track that has been added upon what is already there.  It adds to the dimension of it all.  There's a greater richness that hasn't been there in the past.  Cadence is falling, and it's falling together it seems.