This girl is one of my heroes. Seriously. She's been through the tough times, and yes, they still come and get her once in a while. It's probably because I feel like I can connect to her, that I like her blog so much.
Her post reminded me of some of my own lessons learned in life.
In Rexburg, (if it was cold out) I'd jump in my truck and drive away from the town as far as I was comfortable going...getting stuck in a white out really would have made a slightly not-so-good-day even more not-so-good. In good weather, I'd take myself on a run. Usually I'd run around the track on campus, but one night that wasn't going to cut it.
Four of my five roommates that semester had birthdays all within two weeks of each other. We were all into surprising each other, so I wanted to do a whole thing for them at once, yet try to make each one feel special with their own cake specifically made with them in mind. Good friends were allowing me to bake the cakes in the secrecy of their apartment, and I had set three of the four girls with something to do that evening. I needed something to keep my best friend away for the evening so she could be appropriately surprised for the event. It involved asking her crush to take her out on a date.
Long story short, the best friend found out that I was trying to set her up, which made her mad, which made me mad, all because I was trying to do something awesome for her birthday and she wouldn't go along with the plan. (Side note: Typically, I'm not the kind of person who gets upset or mad, but for some reason, this whole thing got my blood boiling.) Add in a dose of frustration from my RA acting up, uncertainty about my major, and I was a mess.
I ended up going on a run at 11:30 at night where curfew was midnight. And I ended up here...
Just sitting outside the baptistery with the wind whipping at my bare legs, and dirt sticking to my tears (I looked a total mess when I returned) brought a feeling that everything was going to be all right. I may not have had all the answers at the time (and I still don't have ALL the answers) but that's not how life is supposed to be, as much as we would like it to be that way. Yes, I was late for curfew, but you know, it really didn't matter. I learned something larger that night--I'm not in charge, but I know who is and where to put my trust.
I always feel like a good run (or drive) lets me clear all of MY thoughts from my head so there's room for the answers to becoming clearer. It helps me relinquish control so that I can find the right path! :)
ReplyDeleteRelinquishing control...it's so hard to do when we want everything to be "Just right!" Thanks for the comment!
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